Conflict starts in the heart
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. James 4:1-2 ESV
Our choices belong to us. We are one hundred percent responsible for our choices. A lot of conflicts start because we want our own way so we choose to try to get it. When we make choices we make them deliberately.
The Root and the Fruit
A person can be compared to a plant. Plants that have good roots will produce good fruit. The same goes with people. If the root of a person is self-centered, the person will probably be envious, proud, selfish, and show bad fruit. A God-centered person will try to be unselfish, humble, content, and show the fruits of the spirit.
Bad Root, Bad Fruit
Selfishness: Root: You want your own way
Fruit: You do anything you can think of to get others to give in to your
desires
Laziness: Root: You don’t want to work or have responsibilities
Fruit: You don’t get anything done
Greed: Root: You’re not content; you want more
Fruit: You complain and steal
Pride: Root: You don’t like being wrong; you place yourself higher than
other people
Fruit: You feel like you have to defend yourself when you are being
corrected
Envy: Root: You want to have what other people have
Fruit: You do mean things to get what other people have
Fear of Others: Root: You’re worried about what other people think of you
Fruit: You won’t share your faith because you’re afraid of what
someone might think
Jealousy: Root: You want your friends to only be friends with you
Fruit: You try to beak up friendships
Self Pity: Root: You feel sorry for yourself; you want others to pity you
Fruit: You pout
Good Root, Good Fruit
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 ESV
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a ESV
During this section in our peacemaker study, I thought of the story Jesus told to answer the question, “who is my neighbor?” It’s the parable of the Good Samaritan, found in Luke 10:25-37. The robbers who hurt the man and took all of his money were showing the bad root of greed. When the Levite and the priest walked past the man who was hurt, I think that they were showing bad roots such as pride, selfishness, or laziness. But then a Samaritan came. He was showing good fruits when he stopped and helped the man: compassion when he washed his wounds, kindness when he took him to an inn, and unselfishness when he paid the innkeeper to take care of the man.
Just like the robbers, the Levite, and the priest, I have shown bad fruit sometimes. But, with God’s help, I can strive not to show bad fruit but to show good fruit like the Samaritan did. Even thought I sin, I know that God gives me second chances through Jesus.
I’m glad to see you thinking through this stuff.
This is good stuff from God’s word that will spare you a lot of pain in this life. Keep it up! 