My Walk with God in the Past Year November 5, 2009

My understanding of God has grown tremendously in the past year. I’ve been learning about a few different things especially. Realizing what a privilege prayer and devotions are, trusting God and my parents to know what’s best, and understanding the importance of my relationship with my brother are the top three. But most importantly, I’m working on owning my own faith.

When I was almost four, I prayed to accept Jesus as my Savior. I understood all that I could about God and Jesus with my four-year-old brain. But in the past year or so, I’ve realized how important it is to know God as Lord. Before, I understood that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and I had accepted him so that I would go to heaven. Now, I realize how much he loves me and I want to live my life to glorify him. During communion a few Sundays ago, I decided I wanted to have Jesus not only as my Savior but also as my Lord. I wanted to own my faith. Honestly, I don’t know if I was saved when I asked Jesus to come into my heart when I was four, only God knows. But I know now that I’m definitely covered by Jesus’ blood. Praise God!

Prayer started becoming more real to me this past spring. I used to think prayer and devotions were more of a chore. I didn’t necessarily want to do it; I had to do it. But I started realizing how valuable spending time with God is. When I pray, I’m actually talking to the Creator of everything. And it’s not just me talking, it’s a conversation. I’m not talking to God. I’m talking with God. That’s an incredible thought. Sometimes it’s hard to take time for devotions and prayer. Making time with God a priority isn’t always easy. There are many times when I don’t want to read the Bible or pray, and sadly, I don’t always do it when I know I should. I can see that God’s been growing me more. There are fewer times when I want to skip devotions. It’s such a privilege to be able to talk to God.

Two different times especially in the past year have shown me that I need to trust God and my parents. I posted them both previously (Trusting God Through Change and Trusting in God but Not in Real Estate). The experiences were so overwhelming at times. The feeling that I needed to trust God and my parents kept nagging at me. I wanted to believe that God had the perfect plan for my life but it was hard. After fighting the feeling for some time, I finally realized that I would never get the comfort that I needed without trusting so I let go and trusted. It wasn’t always easy though. Sometimes I would stop trusting, but I was just more upset and stressed than I would be by trusting. Trusting is way better than resenting.

My relationship with my brother wasn’t bad. At least that’s what I thought. It wasn’t like we were physically fighting, but my attitude towards Andrew wasn’t good. We’d get along sometimes, but most of the time, we’d be fighting or just not talking. Recently, my friend Abby had this really good idea of starting a book study together. So we started getting together with some of our good friends to do a book study. The book we decided to study was, Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends. Let me tell you, that book is amazing! I realized how important it was to have a healthy relationship with my brother. [Editor’s note: Michelle’s mom here, the book is AMAZING ¾ buy it!] I’ve started working on improving my relationship with Andrew. I’m so glad that I’ve been getting along with him better. Andrew and I have been having a lot of fun together. I’m not saying we get along perfect, but I’m really enjoying my special relationship with my brother. I had no idea I was missing out on such a blessing.

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